Illusion Of A Fantasy.

Where do I go, which way do I turn...

searching for that love I so desperatly yearn fading memories of a past I'd soon forget isolated and alone waiting for the one not met. 

Is she just a vision, or does she really exist... illusion of a fantasy... 

the truth of it all remains to be seen for in this moment of time I can only dream. 

Laying awake I stare into the night doom and dread surround, like the demons I fight river of emotions flow like a swift moving tide spiraling so fast downward I slide. Will ever I find that peace, I do not know breaking down more with each passing blow desperation and pain a part of everyday life words not spoken that cut like a knife.

I was thinking..

Can you just snap and the person you want gone, disappear?
Can you find a way through every problem without shedding a tear?
Can you hate a person that you hold so dear?
Can you find the one you love and have him seem be too good to be real?
All the above is way too hard to be doing it on your own.
And when no one is around to help you out and pick your feet off the ground, you end up spending your nights crying, in your room all alone. 

Wishing someone was holding you tight and you find that some one right here, right now.

There she is...

                           

There are very few women in the world who have been truly beautiful. Very few. When you look for that beautiful woman you must look deeper then her physical  beauty. You must look past her many physical attributes, past the shape of her body  the curve of her hip and the way that she responds to pleasure. Past even her attentiveness to your needs, her response to your advances.
You must look deeper inside.  

When you look at her mind, you must see the beauty of  her intellect, the power of her mental essence,the love that she radiates, and that special person that she is.
But, even that is not deep enough...
You must look to her personality, that which has been forged through the fires of life, the  rigors of hardships, and the pain of physical challenges. That personality which reflects  in her eyes, and will glow with its shining life. It will be like a star, that in the evening filament twinkles and the humor of her personality will  flicker into your awareness with joyous abandon.

But, even that is not deep enough. 

 
You must pass even her personality to reach into  her heart. Her heart must beat with a passion,  she must pulse with love. Her blood must flow  carrying to her fingertips the messages  of her love. Written in tender touches for you alone.

Even that is not deep enough to discover the truly
beautiful person.

To be truly beautiful, to really surpass all others,  you must glance into her soul. Surrounded by her aura,  cradled in her essence, this is the place of true beauty.  Its reflection sharper then the calmest waters of a fountain.  A soul of true spirituality. Its here that beauty is truly found. Forever tranquil, in the endless memories that each time you meet her impress themselves into your heart.

And i found u.

The pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of reality because illusion never leaves us ultimately happy.

With love, IKBKG.